Condiments and Ice Cream: A Theory

You’re at a barbeque. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, you’re wearing your favourite flip flops and there’s a cooler full of your favourite beer.

The host tosses you a hot dog, hamburger, or veggie alternative of your choice.

Best Buddies!

Best Buddies!

You sidle up to the condiments, but obviously party planning isn’t the host’s strong point – they are only offering two condiments, ketchup and mustard. For some reason, you can only pick one to dress your weenie or burg. Choose your favourite. Don’t ask why. The cosmos will be thrown out of whack unless you select just one condiment.

What did you choose?

You eat and the meal is delicious. Now your host is serving up ice cream cones, but they’re running a tight budget and the only flavours are vanilla and chocolate. Like before, for some untold reason you can only choose one.

What did you choose?

Chocaholic, anyone?

Chocaholic, anyone?

Now, the theory:

I believe that those who choose ketchup probably also chose vanilla ice cream. Ketchup-Vanilla people are classic. They are often picky or unadventurous eaters. Cheetos or Regular chips were probably a favourite snack as a child. They are probably shy. They are level-headed, kind, and emotionally, they run on an even keel.

I believe those who choose mustard also chose chocolate ice cream. Mustard-Chocolate people are generally unruly. They are adventurous eaters, and usually enjoy spicy or sour foods. By nature they are extroverted, boisterous and pretty in-your-face.

Of course, there are those anomalies that mix and match outside the theory’s parameters. These people tend to strike a balance between the two categories – perhaps the ketchup lover in them makes them a picky eater, but the chocolate ice cream streak makes them a social butterfly.

Note: These patterns don’t hold true for everyone, but they are fairly accurate. These are my unscientific findings after several years’ investigation and results. Like any theory, there are exceptions to the rule.

Try this theory on your friends and see where they fit in. Does the theory hold any merit or am I just making wild assumptions?

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8 responses to “Condiments and Ice Cream: A Theory

  1. 1, The host is a horrible host if he/she knew I was coming. She/he forgot the relish.
    2, Likely I am predictable. Likely I would have gone with ketchup and vanilla. But for sure I would do vanilla.

  2. ketchup-vanilla all the way. BUT i like spicy foods. So am I a bridge? Just because I never choose chocolate ice cream and I dislike mustard, does that make me less social? hmmm. I like the dividing lines but I think you need to take a look at the over-arching theory.

  3. I went mustard-chocolate, and although I can be “unruly” at times, I’m certainly not a boisterous extrovert… but I think a few other characteristics you might consider to fall under the mustard-chocolate-lover’s persona would fit me decently. I see what you mean, and I think your theory holds some merit.

  4. That is an interesting theory but I am most definitely ketchup chocolate. I do not like vanilla ice cream very much. I always pick chocolate

  5. I actually wrote a book called The Ice Cream Theory which is based on my idea that people are like ice cream flavors (which is why we crave some people, get bored with other people, are excited by new people, etc.).

  6. I chose ketchup and chocolate ice cream. I do tend to be picky eater, but for some reason I do like chocolate better then vanilla. I’m not a social butterfly in any way, but I do think it’s an interesting theory.

  7. Probably mustard vanilla. I am a crazy person though.

    Where’d that ketchup mustard image come from?? I’d like to use that for a product and not get sued if you know where it came from….

    • I just did a Google image search for ketchup and mustard, and there it was. I’m not sure what the rights are for it!

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